


Fed to the Fire

by peppermintquartz



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Letter, M/M, post digestivo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 11:30:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4520223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppermintquartz/pseuds/peppermintquartz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will writes a letter after seeing Hannibal for the first time in three years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fed to the Fire

Dear Hannibal,

I shouldn't be writing this letter at all. Let us blame it on too much whiskey.

Three years isn't enough time for me to prepare for seeing you again. A lifetime apart would not have prepared me for seeing you again.

And yet, when I saw you, it was as though I was seeing you for the first time.

How did it come to this?

I wish I dared to touch you again. I remember the warmth of your hands. I miss them.

I miss you.

I was not asleep when you saved me from Mason and Cordell. I was not asleep when you carried me in the freezing snow.

Nor was I asleep when you cleaned my wounds, bathed me, changed my clothes.

Not when you kissed me: the press of your lips to my brow, my jaw, my abdomen where you left a smile.

My lips.

I was not asleep then, and now when I sleep, I dream of them often. I can't go back to the stream. Instead I stand at the altar, waiting for you. Sometimes vice versa.

I wish I'd been able to hold you then. Feel the heat of your breath on my skin, the spread of your broad shoulders, our bodies pressed close, driving away all that separates us.

But that's not possible, is it?

There are too many memories and ghosts and skeletons and pain between us. This wall cannot be surmounted.

If you had not meddled. If you had truly been my friend. If I had less of a conscience. If I hadn't called. If you hadn't killed Beverly. If you hadn't hurt Alana. If you had let Abigail live. If I had been yours sooner.

All these ifs.

I wish I could forget what lies between us. However, I don't think I ever can. Every hurt you inflicted cut straight to the bone.

I'm content now, Hannibal. She is good, and kind to dogs, and she makes me laugh.

She makes me laugh.

I don't love her the way she deserves to be loved, but Hannibal, she makes me laugh.

More importantly, she's never made me cry.

I miss you.

I wish I didn't.

But she makes me laugh, and that is more than you've ever given me.

Goodbye, Hannibal.

**Author's Note:**

> The letter was burned in the morning.


End file.
